Fake Talkers Call Bird's in With Sexy Talk...Then: BAM BAM

Come on, Roco, them slug snacks is over here, just where Miss Janey said they'd be. She made 'em special for us. But we got to keep our eyes peeled for the fake talkers hidin' in the woods. Never know where they be. And don't go answering any sexy talk you hear.

You eat lookin' that way, Rocco, and I'll eat lookin' this way. Never know. Them fake talkers might show up early, pretending they our girlfriend. We lost Stuberger last spring when he succumbed to a fake talker and ended up on the humans' table, in November, on Overindulgence Day. I told him to keep it zipped up.

Miss Janey's slug snacks the best. She so nice, leavin' us these snacks. Harman, don't go lookin' around that tree, it stinky there, it's where brainless bully-bear goes, tryin' to be like the men in pumpkin suits. Miss Janey ain't leavin' no slug snacks over there. Say, you think Mr. Terry and Miss Janey eat our kin on Overindulgence Day? Naaaaaw, they too nice.

Them stinkin' turkeys think they got all of Miss Janie's slug snacks, but they don't get everything. They eat with their mouth's open and snack bits fall out. Them turkeys so stupid. You don't see any men coming into the woods and calling us bears. Yes, I'd like to see them try that. Them turkeys are weirdos — hear sexy talk from the fake talkers and then get dead. Ha, ha, ha, ha, he, he he...hear sexy talk, then get dead. I made that one up. He, he, he, he, oh, wait, there's a big chunk over there.
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The end.