Mr. Terry's Playmates of the Year

Number One

Fluff up, fluff up, Swartzie. We gonna see Miss Jannie in a minute, get them slug pie recipes.

Number Two

Bob, wait, Miss Jannie's slug pie recipes got to be over there somewhere, maybe where they keep them shiny round things. Listen, Swartzie, you know what they do with them shinny things? Swartzie, Swartzie? Bob, let's get the hell out of here.

Number Three

Damit, damit. I've seen how those men in the pumpkin suits do this in the woods. But I been tryin' it and keep gettin' it all over my paws and legs. Course them have little pee-pees, nothing like I got. They so little it makes me laugh in the woods...he, he, he, he... Them so little the stinkin' turkeys wouldn't want them.

Number Four

The animals in the forest laugh at me, cause my rack's only a couple of spikes. Well, I'm still here, ain't I? Those big rack deer are now in freezers. Size doesn't matter in the forest, brains do. What do racoons, squirrels and possums know, anyway? Callin' me Spike-o. They ain't in Mr. Terry's top five. But I am — and not cut up and frozen, either.

Number Five

Hey Spike-o, want to see what a real deer looks like?

Number Six

Psst, psst. Barnie, stop eatin' and look at those pathetic deer. We gonna follow them weirdos to some gardens where the humans live so when the warming time comes, we know where to go to eat. Them deer know how to get to the human's gardens, ain't no doubt about that, Barnie.

Number Seven 

Ain't nobody gettin' shots of us foxes, you hear me, nobody. Mr. Terry big shot better be gettin' up pretty early to camera us dudes. He be better off coachin' at the track than shootin' us foxes.

Number Eight

Mr. Terry and Miss Jannie sure have some strange things. Say, what do you think that thing is that just clicked. 

Number Nine

Mama, mama, we at Mr. Terry's and Miss Jannie's yet?

Number Ten

Miss Jannie never leaves nothin' for me. I''m going back to bed for three months.

The End